Desperation (byanymeansness) wrote in mka_rhapsody,
Desperation
byanymeansness
mka_rhapsody

1. I like how matter of fact I can be sometimes.
2. I like how I have a more active sense of humor than I let on.
3. I like how I have lost 30 pounds since June 12.
4. I like how I feel when my coworkers notice it without me telling them.
5. I like how Damien - a coworker - thinks I'm worth talking to and doesn't treat me like poo anymore.
6. I like how the Canadian says things like "I heart you soo much, and I know we don't get to talk too much these days, but I really do," when I need to hear them most.
7. I like how my friends had to go to planned parenthood after their second time ever having sex. He is formerly gay and had never had sex with a girl and she was just a virgin. Way to start things out on the right foot. Hehehe. I love them so much.
8. I like how Casey is going to take the pictural and turn it into tattoo-ish for my next tattoo.
9. I like how my eyes look when I put on just a smidge of brown eye shadow. So blue!
10. I like how things are starting to make more sense to me now that I have made at least a glimmer of a plan.
11. I like how soft my hair feels when it's freshly washed.
12. I like how I know I'm smart even if other aspects of my life have been having trouble refelcting it.
13. I like how I write poetry someimes.
14. I like how I'm artistic.
15. I like how I'm a perfectionist.
16. I like how I survived.


If you haven't gathered, this isn't a survey or anything like that, it's just a list of things I like about myself because I think we all need to sit down and write/type that out sometimes. I think too many of us lose sight of what's positive in our lives and let the negative hide it all away.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I am a victim of child abuse in the least reported and sometimes most serious form: psychological.

Yeah, it's funny what therapists will help you see and realize about your life.

I was put down my entire life for one reason or another and I was never good enough for him. I think that has alot to do with why I developed an ed in the first place when I was so young (11) and then relapsed (15) twice (19). I have a very skewed mental image of myself and worth.

I'm not going to change this aspect about me right now because I don't feel the need to yet, but I'm going to work on my mental image for other things about myself. Like: my hair, my face, my voice, my intelligence, my worth. You know, the other things that I hate.

Think positive.

That's what I'm going to try to do now.

Good luck girls!

:kiss:

x-posted
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